It’s one thing to picture a certain situation in mind, it’s another to really see it for yourself.
Tonight, I saw something that I wish I didn’t. I didn’t expect myself to react the way I did. I thought that I was doing okay. But then something came out in the open and hurt me badly. Upon seeing the “thing,” I quickly searched for Ate Chelle’s Facebook page. I also tried to see whether she’s online. But because she wasn’t, I left her a message instead. She was the first person I had in mind and I felt like telling her how I feel.
Hurt and helpless.
I really want to feel better but for tonight, I guess I couldn’t just put on a happy mask. It’s funny that Kazu kept encouraging me to still “go for it.” But, really…maybe this is what “beyond repair” means. I can totally use some booze tonight.